Stranger in the town a.k.a. all the nonsense you need to write to get a grade

(*picture found at google search)

Stranger in the town

Today, here with us is the famous sailor, Popeye. He came a long way from the place he was before, and now he’s staying here in our lovely town, Sweethaven. Well, could you tell us more about your trip to our town?
— I thinks I was travelling a lot. I passes seven ockeans, ‘cause I was looking for me Poppa. You sees, I lost him when I was two. But, one days, when I thinkin I dies, me mudder cames and told me, Poppa is alives.
And as we know, you’ve found your Poppa here. But there was also some clash between the two of you…
— Yes, Olivia thought me fadder was a kidnapper. But I knows, me fadder ain’t no kidnappers. I don’t knows whats he was doingks, I don’t want to axs him, but I knows, he’s a good Poppa.
You two, I mean, you and your Poppa, look really alike, but you also have some story about that, don’t you?
— Mudder told me I was born in a typhoon, that I comes from Heaven. With fadder it’s differenks, we haves the same bulgy arms and the same squinky eye. We even haves same pipes.
And now you too have a son, Swee’pea, if I’m spelling it correct…
— That needs some explanatskin. I yam Swee’peas mudder, ‘cause he was dedicated for me, ‘cause his first mudder had financkial problems. So I yam tha mudder of Swee’pea, and Olivia is his fadder, ‘cause every childs needs parenks.
You are mentioning Olivia for the second time, can we hope for a wedding in the near future?
— Hahaha, if nuttins come in ways, than I hopes so. It is neskessary, ‘cause the childs needing parenks, and you know, everybodys gotta have somebodys, and I needs Olivia. She suitks me perfectks
Had you ever had some serious quarrel with her?
— Oh, yes. When she wanted to use Swee’peas physcikiskial skills for getting’ money. And, you know, moraliky is very important for me, and wrong is wrong, even when it helps you. I don’t like immoraliky, and I thinks it was wrong to use him to get money.
Yes, you may be right. When did you decide to get married?
— When I gots her out from the octopussys fangs on Scab island. You sees, that was interestinking; I almost losts in the fight against Bluto, and then Poppa gives me spinach and I can fights Bluto and save Olivia with me own power.
I’ve heard, you’ve sold your story to some publishers. Is there going to be a book or something?
— I tell ya, a don’ts really knows. I saw a comic, and I was paintks really phooey. I hopes the moxvie is gonna be better.
Well, how would you describe yourself, so that the people may understand you better?
— I cans only says for meself, that I yam what I yam.
Thank you for the interview?
— Thanks you for making interviewks.